Thursday, November 10, 2005

(insert creative title here)

I haven't posted anything for a little while, but it's certainly not because of a lack of stories. The following is the account of my first Halloween spent in Humboldt Park. I should state here that the following would be rated TV-14 if it were, in fact, on T.V. Consider yourself warned.

So the day started out fairly normal. I taught classes in the morning, none of the students dressed up for Halloween. I saw a couple of costumed people walking around on the street. Nothing big though. On the way home I was passed on the street by two men, one dressed as some sort of zombie-esque character. He was pretty decked out- a full waist-length wig and torn up clothes, green and black make-up all over his face. The other man was dressed as a woman with a denim mini-skirt, silk camisole and little jacket. He was wearing make-up and imitating a woman as he walked down the street. I made brief eye-contact with the two as I passed and the "woman" winked at me. I continued on my way thinking to myself that those two won the prize for the most elaborate costumes I'd seen so far. Little did I know, that wouldn't be the last or most I saw of them. Oh no. There was more to come.

I stopped at a small store to pick up some random items. While I was there, who should enter the store but ghoul-man and drag queen. They seemed to be searching for girly looking accessories, all the while laughing a little too loudly. I continued shopping without paying them any attention until I realized that they had strategically placed themselves between me and the check out. I was beginning to get a little annoyed with their obnoxious laughter.

Before I could ask them to move or step around them myself, the girly dude whips out a hanky, daintily drops it on the ground, and proceeds to moon me as he picks it up. "Oh no, you did NOT just do that." But in fact, he had and he was quite amused by it. Turns out his little silk camisole had a little silk thong to go with it. How sweet.

While I was in line at the cashier I could hear them mooning other people in the store. The nervous tittering beforehand, the expression of surprise from their victim, the loud guffaws afterwards. Sigh. Life in the city. So October 31, 2005 will now be known to me as the day I was mooned by a transvestite. He winked and blew a kiss at me as I walked out the door.